


5 things Keith should have told Lance and 1 thing Lance should have told Keith

by Megsay



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: 5+1 Things, Awkward Conversations, Awkward Flirting, Cliche, Cute, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Oblivious Lance (Voltron), Pining Keith (Voltron), Space Dad Shiro (Voltron), space doesn't have chocolate, they go to the space mall, this is mostly crack
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-01
Updated: 2018-05-02
Packaged: 2019-04-30 15:13:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14499768
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Megsay/pseuds/Megsay
Summary: Just as the title states. Lance makes a fool of himself, Keith acts like the awkward boy he is, and everyone else just want them to get their act together.





	1. "I'm gay"

**Author's Note:**

> I couldn't help myself. Thus, this was born. Enjoy! I will probably post the other chapters within the week.

Shiro must hate him. Why else would he always pair him up with Keith? Keith is his most frustrating team member. The guy has a mullet, for crying out loud! Keith was always on him for goofing off between mission, but really who could blame him. Lance was pretty sure Keith was just jealous of how all the girls flocked to HIM instead of Keith. Take that, mullet.

But right now, they were in the middle of a mission. Lance had stayed behind to watch from above while Keith was trying- keyword trying- to blend in with the local population. Really, for the top pilot, the boy had such terrible social skills. Lance cringed as Keith tripped over a small child and was promptly berated by what looked like the child’s mother.

Rolling his eyes, Lance radioed the red paladin. “Dude, watch where you’re going. And try to chill, we don’t want to stand out.”

“Why didn’t you do this then! I could have been back up!”

“Umm, who’s the sniper again? Oh, right, me. Just keep going. Try to see if you can ask a local about anything suspicious.” Lance watch Keith wonder around for a bit, looking helplessly lost. “Alright, here, there’s a group of girls to your right. Do you see them?”

“Yeah, what about them, they don’t look suspicious.”

“Well, we know that it’s a group of guys that are in contact with the Galra. Girls usually know when something’s up. Just go… go flirt with them.”

Lance wasn’t prepared for Keith’s strong reaction. “I CAN’T flirt with them.”

“Woah, buddy, calm down. Hey, you can use my lines if you want, it’s a one time opportunity. I’m giving you permission to hit on some hot chicks and I won’t try to steal them from you.” Lance smirked. “I know I always get them girl, go for it hothead.”

Lance watched Keith slowly turn towards Lance direction and throw the middle finger towards him. “You’re an idiot, Lance."

He laughed as he watched Keith awkwardly walk towards the group. He heard them stop giggling and saw them turn towards him. “Hey girls,” Lance cringed as he heard Keith’s voice crack. “Are you from outer space?”

“Keith they are literally aliens, you can’t…” Lance put his head in his hands and groaned as the girls awkwardly chuckled.

“Cause yoU’RE OUT OF THIS WORLD.” Keith’s voice cracked again, rising in pitch at the last part of the line. Lance almost felt bad for him… almost.

He watched as the girls awkwardly laughed and turned to walk away. “Well, that went terribly.” Keith monotoned to Lance.

“Yeah, you think? That was terrible. Who taught you how to talk to girls?”

“You used that line once!”

“Yeah, well at least I can say it without my voice cracking, you failure of a space cowboy.” Lance turned and leaned against the rock beside him.

“Well I’m sorry I’m GAY, what did you want me to do?!"

Lance’s eyes widened. “Wait… so I should have just sent you off to flirt with the guys on the other side of the street. Dude, why didn’t you tell me that earlier!”

“I don’t know, you told me to flirt with the girls!”

Lance sighed. “Ugh, let’s just go tell Shiro we didn’t find anything.”

There was a moment of silence before Keith chimed in again. “Yeah, let’s…. let’s do that.”


	2. "I'm lactose intolerant"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I realized I end most of my chapters with dialogue... oh well.

The whole group was at the space mall for some rest and relaxation. Lance was taking this opportunity to find not only the best space face mask, but the hottest space girl in the mall that day. Hunk was roaming through the spice racks in the shop, keeping an eye out for Pidge.

“Hey, does this smell like garlic to you?” Something was waved in front of his face, causing Lance to flinch back.

“Bro, watch the face!” He sniffed the air again. “Oh, hey, you’re right that does smell like garlic.” He smiled at the fond memories of late night movies and garlic knots on his family’s overstuffed couch.

“Sweet, thanks Lance. I think I’ve almost got the recipe down, now if only I could find some sort of baking powder equivalent so that it stops falling apart. I tried using this weird powder Coran gave me, but you remember how awful that tasted. Do you think…”

Lance tuned out his bestie at the sight of a little green gremlin holding two ice cream cones. “Pidgey!” He ran off, making grabbing motions with his hands. “GImme, gimme, gimme…”

She dodged to the side, laughing as Lance found himself against the side of a large potted plant. “You monster, depriving me of the wonders of space ice cream! I’ll never forgive you.”

She shrugged, handing the second cone to Hunk and motioned to her left. “I don’t even have yours, you idiot.”

Lance looked and there stood Keith, awkwardly shifting his weight back and forth on his feet. Keith pushed a strawberry cone into his hands as soon as Lance stood up again.

Lance grinned and made a hum of approval. “At least space got one thing right.”

Keith shrugged. “Yeah, but they don’t have chocolate.”

Hunk’s groaning cut through Lance’s next words. “Dude, don’t even remind me. I haven’t had chocolate in so long! How does space have strawberry so accurately and yet no chocolate. It’s the greatest tragedy.”

“You guys are such babies.” Pidge laughed as the three boys all glared at her. “C’mon, I wanna check out that Earth store again.”

Later, while Pidge and Hunk where roaming the Earth shop’s technology section, (“It’s all so outdated, we were lucky they had the gaming system.” “Tell me about it, I’m embarrassed for our species if this is how we are represented.”) Lance and Keith were standing at the door, waiting for the two of them.

Spinning the rack of alien postcards, showing Earth wonders with very inaccurate names – the Disneyworld castle and the White House where switched for some reason- Lance frowned as he heard Keith groan in pain.

“Uh, dude, you okay?”

“Mm, yeah. I’m fine.” Keith turned away from him.

Lance stepped closer. “You don’t sound fine. Should I radio Shiro?”

“No, no, trust me. He’ll just get mad at me when you tell him I had ice cream.”

“I mean, I doubt it…? Shiro is space-dad, but I don’t think he would…”

Keith interrupted him abruptly. “I’m lactose intolerant.”

Lance froze, then sighed. “And you didn’t say something because….?”

Keith shrugged. “It’s space ice cream.”

“Hmph, space ice cream. You’re an idiot, I’m calling Shiro,” he took out his radio, which led to Keith reaching over trying to grab it.

“Don’t you dare, Lance!” Keith yelled before clutching his stomach and collapsing on the ground.

Lance looked down and sighed again, speaking into the comm unit. “Hey Shiro, your little brother is an idiot.”

“What did Keith do this time?”


	3. "I found my mom"

“Hey, the name’s Lance, who might you be?” Lance sent his best smile to the alien woman sitting across from him at the table.

She didn’t smile back, which was disappointing, but he could still work with this. After all, there was no one else in the dining room, which wasn’t surprising given how late he was taking breakfast, everyone else was either busy with some sort of tech thing or training.

She held out a hand. “Krolia. I’m here with Keith.”

Lance took her hand gently and nodded. “Well, let me just say that you are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.” He inwardly cheered at how her face seemed to soften at his words.

“You are quite the charmer, Red Paladin. After everything I’ve heard about you, it is nice to finally meet.” Lance felt himself blush at the praise.

He waved his hand in the air, attempting to portray a humble persona. “Ah, well, the pleasure is all mine.”

Krolia stood. “I should be getting back to Keith, we have much to talk about before we leave for our next mission.”

At the sound of that, Lance felt a pang of something like panic rise within him. “Wait, don’t you want to- I mean, would you like to see the lions? I could show you around?” He ended with a questioning pause.

She nodded. “Yes, Keith and I arrived fairly late yesterday. I would much appreciate a tour. After you?” She gestured to the door and Lance took off, making sure she was following him.

He showed her the lions, Krolia seemed to have a strong interest in the red lion, asking both about Lance’s time piloting the mech and Keith’s time.

“Yeah, she’s gotten me out of several spots, but she’s Keith’s when he’s ready to come back.” He looked down, still unsure how Keith returning, when he returns, would play out.

“If Keith trusted you to pilot her, I’m sure you are an amazing pilot, Lance.”

He smiled at Krolia, thanking her.

It was at that moment that the door to the hanger opened and a certain mullet walked in.

“Ah, Keith, there you are,” Krolia started towards him. “I was just about to look for you after Lance finished his tour.”

Keith gave Lance a weird look before turning back to Krolia. “That’s fine, I was just finishing some training exercises before we put together that report for the Blade.”

As Krolia nodded and began to ask something else, Lance walked over, interrupting the pair. “So, how did you two meet?”

“Mission,” They both stated simply. Lance frowned, feeling something off, but he couldn’t quite put his finger on it.

“Well, after you are done with that…” Lance paused, waving his hands, “report thing, perhaps you would like to take a ride in Red? I tell you, nothing flies as smooth or as fast as she does.” He sent her what he thought was his most suave smile.

At this, Krolia finally laughed, placing a hand on Keith’s shoulder. “Oh, he reminds me of your father when he was young.” And with that, she walked towards the door.

Lance shot a panicked look at Keith. “That’s your MOM!?” He attempted to whisper under his breath. “Why didn’t you say something, mullet?”

Keith glared. “Sorry, you weren’t there last night when everyone else met her. Did you want a private introduction or something?”

Lance felt himself go red as Keith scoffed and walked away. As he watched Krolia and Keith walk side by side, he could see the resemblance.

Well, Lance thought, that’s something I never ever want to think about again.


	4. "I don't like being touched"

Lance took deep breaths, trying to calm his racing emotions. “Sorry Shiro, could you just- you want me to what?”

“We need to infiltrate the club, and it’s for couples. You and Keith are used to being paired up on missions, this shouldn’t be that much different.” Shiro stayed facing the screen, Lance glared at his back.

“NOPE, nope, nope, nope. Not gonna happen. Why can’t Allure come with me.” He turned and sent her a grin. “We’d make the perfect couple.” She scoffed and walked away from him.

“Because, Lance, not only am I needed on the stealth team due to my ability to shapeshift, but you and Keith do look-“ She paused and sent him a wicked smirk “-well, you look like the perfect couple.”

Lance groaned. “Hunk, help me out buddy. Tell then how bad this idea is.”

The yellow paladin shrugged. “Dude, you set yourself up for this. During the shows, you had to know that hitting on Allura while she was pretending to be Keith would make everyone think you and Keith were together.”

“Exactly!” Shiro turned around. “You’ll be the most popular couple there, it’ll be easy to sneak in the back and find whoever is running the behind the scenes stuff.”

Lance crossed his arms. “And Keith has agreed to this? Yeah, no, don’t think so. You just think I’ll agree first.”

Pidge popped up behind him. “Actually, Keith already agreed to do it, we just need to convince you.”

Lance shrieked, but then considered her words. “Fine, but only because this is a chance to show him that I am way better at this than he is.”

Pidge tilted her head in amusement. “At romancing the other?”

He sputtered, turning red. “No, at faking a relationship. I’ve seen him flirt, he was terrible at it.”

“Alright, buddy, I believe you,” Hunk gave his shoulder a friendly squeeze. “Now go get dressed in something you can wear to a space version of a nightclub.”

Sighing, Lance walked towards his room.

Just two hours later, he was already regretting agreeing to this. Lance thought he looked great, and Keith actually put some effort into looking good (though he suspected Allura was behind his new look). He glanced around (trying not to seem like he was staring at Keith- man those jeans were tight- no Lance focus). Shiro was right, the two of them were popular.

Lance didn’t know if it was the outfit or the crowd or Lance himself, but Keith just wouldn’t relax. Every time Lance tried to causally grab his waist or his hand, Keith shied away. People were beginning to notice.

Forcibly grabbing his hand, Lance dragged Keith off to the side.

“Dude, what gives? I know you hate me but can you at least pretend to be enjoying yourself.” Lance watched Keith mumble something and look down at his feet. “What was that, I can’t hear you bro.”

“I said I don’t hate you.”

Lance tried not to be shocked by this revelation but found himself smiling anyways. “Good… tha-that’s good. Then why are you acting so strange?”

Keith looked around before finally pulling his eyes up to meet Lance. “I just don’t like being touched, ok. There’s too many people and everyone is too close and you keep trying to grab my-“

“Woah, woah, slow down. You don’t like touch, huh.” Lance sighed, pulling his hand through his hair. “Wish you had said something earlier.”

“Sorry,” Keith’s face fell again.

Panic filled Lance. “No, no, it’s totally fine, just lemme think.” He looked around, but everything from the dance floor to the bar seemed crowded. Lance had pulled them away and Keith’s glaring was keeping most of the curious clubbers away, but their eyes still wandered over. He turned back to Keith. “Is it all touch or just surprise touch? Like, if I warn you, is it ok as long as we avoid the crowds or do I need to-“

Keith interrupted him, shaking his head. “No, it’s mostly the crowds. But a warning could be nice.”

An idea struck Lance. “Hey, how good is your acting? Because I know the best way to cause a scene large enough for Shiro and Allura to sneak in but not so romantic that we’d both feel awkward the rest of the night.”

Shrugging, Keith gestured to the crowd. “It had better be a good idea.”

“Trust me, it is. After all, we yell at each other all the time. Aren’t super private and awkward fights normal for couples that have had too much to drink?” Lance smirked as Keith’s eyes widened.

“Perfect.”


End file.
